The reason we all get married is to find our other half, to live and love our other half. Marriage binds two souls. It’s not just about living under one roof and producing babies. It’s a bigger concept. It gives you a connection to another person. You start sharing your life with them, your body and your feelings. Women get married to find the actual love of their life. To have sustainability in their life, to have their home, to have a man, they own. To know that the man they admire loves them back. To have financial and mental stability.
It’s surprising that even with all the love and the economic security that marriage provides a woman; she can still go for an affair. I know it sounds absurd, but there are certain reasons.
1. Living in Fantasy World
Married women tend to go for extra-marital affairs when they feel emptiness with their husbands. They feel they are not happy. They are incapable of loving their husband and expecting love from him because they believe in a totally different concept of love and life. They can’t picture their husbands to fulfil the emptiness in their lives. They seek affairs to have this thirst quenched, but even these relationships don’t last long because their concept of fulfilment is something out of the world. For them, marriage is about ‘Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Rapunzel’. It’s not based on the harsh ground realities. They are too much of the fantasy world, so they think that something is wrong with their marriage. And the solution they find to cure it is that they get involved in affairs.
2. Problematic Marriage
A marriage that is full of problems and issues makes a woman think that her only way out is to get involved with a person other than her spouse. Yes, she will initially try her best to solve the issues. She will go through thick and thin to make her marriage work because it’s the inherent trait in a woman to be peaceful and to love. Once, she notices that the marriage isn’t working even if she is trying to be her best, then she just gives up hope. She can’t bear the regular fights with her husband. She can’t tolerate having issues.
3. Cheating Husband
Women are known to be sincere, loyal and caring. You expect them to be understanding, forgiving and forgetting even if you cheat on her. That’s true. She will forgive her husband if he cheats on her one or two-time maximum, but if she notices that her husband is neglecting her for another woman and that he stays away from home because he sleeps with another woman, then as a wife she has three options
1. Save her marriage by asking her husband to leave polygamy
2. Leave
3. Have extra-marital affairs in the same way as her husband.
I see why many neglected women tend to go for extra-marital affairs now. Either they want to be loved, or they just want to avenge their husbands.
4. Forced into Marriage
In many areas of the world, women are compelled to marry against their will. Young girls below 20 are obliged to marry senior men of 60-70 years. The reason being that they are either sold or to clear debts. It’s such a sad thing to know that women are treated as commodities, and they are traded by their family into another family to get benefits like land, money or some high position. It even happens in the very elite class where marriage is merely about strengthening political or business ties. In such cases definitely, the woman isn’t happy with her life, her husband and her marriage, so she chooses to go for extra-marital affairs to be happy. She wants to be valued not as a commodity but as a person.
5. Financial Issues
Women love to be financially stable after they get married. They think that marriage is something that is supposed to resolve all your issues that you had at your parental home. But in many cases, they can’t happen. You can always face financial setbacks, and that doesn’t mean that you give up on your marriage. But many women do. Their love for money makes them go for affairs, relations that could nourish them and sustain them.
It’s sad to see women or men having extra-marital affairs. If you have any issue with your spouse, talk to him, make him understand, go for counseling, go for family advice, but don’t give up. Don’t ruin the institution of marriage. Don’t make this sacred concept dirty. Believe me; only you can solve your problems so just consider having a happy life with your spouse and do not cheat on him.